First Day back, I think they missed me

I get called a couple of different names at my job.  My boss used to say I was a drama queen, but I think I've mellowed a bit in the last few months.  One person thinks I should be called Boots because of my fixation with both the shop and the shoes, she also tends to call me "Bethlehem" (which serves only to remind me of carol concerts at primary school where *every* damn time the word came up in the song my classmates would turn and look at me).  Another person calls me Scrable because I know lots of long words.  Today, we added a new name to the list.  Really, its quite special:

Male Coworker 1:  Alright Beth?  How ya doing?

Me: Erm, yeah.  Whats up with you?  You seem unusually happy?  Get laid at the weekend?

Cue brief conversation about why he should or shouldn't be happy and reiteration that he was just being nice

Male Coworker 1: "Awright Treacle?  Awright Darlin?" - is that better?

Me:  Thats more like what I'd expect from you, yeah.  Although to be honest I hate being called treacle.

Male Coworker 2:  Of all the women that I could think of to call treacle or darling, Beth is the lat person I'd think of.

Male Coworker 1: Why?  What else would you call her instead?

Male Coworker 2:  I dunno.  Battleaxe.

Cue gasp of mock-shock on my part followed by laughter from everyone who overheard.

I like Male Coworker 2.  At least I did until then.  Shortly after that, he came over and asked if he could have one of my crisps (I gave him the rest of the bag) and then just as he was leaving at the end of the day, the subject comes up again as we recount the story to a couple of people who didn't catch the live version:

Male Coworker 2:  ...but you know I was joking.  We went to the shop together at lunchtime and we chatted.

Me:  Yeah, we did.  About your mate and his girlfriend and about your shopping yesterday.  And then we come back and you called me a Battleaxe.

Male Coworker 2: Yeah but I didn't mean it.  I'm sorry.  Have I really offended you?

Me:  No, thats fine.  I hadn't been mean to you all day, I even gave you crisps in spite of it.  Wounded.  Wounded I am.

Male Coworker 2: Oh come on..you don't really have an emotional side do you?

Me:  ...

Male Coworker 2: I think I should probably go home now...

Male Coworker 3: Yeah, quit while you're behind mate.

Comments

[KennethSF]

Wait a minute! On my blog post about my (mis)adventures in fencing, you wrote, "The idea of fencing kinda scares me. Anything where someone is jabbing something sharp in my general direction, etc., etc." Now you reveal your nickname is Battleaxe?

[Clare]

Wow Beth not envying you having those co-workers. I'd be offended if someone called me a battleaxe even if they were joking!!. You handled it well though.

[peach]

ha ha hope you called him gobshite

[Beth]

Kenneth - I'm not a self-titled battleaxe! To give Male Coworker 2 his dues, he did apologise and even asked today if I was still angry with him. I was never angry in the first place, but its sweet that he was worried!

Clare - He was only kidding, we have a lot of banter in our office and without it I'd probably go mad, its what makes the job fun.

Peach - Nah, but the next time we start the gay jokes he'll be prime target. Bless him, he's one of these "pretty" men.

[ruby]

Treacle and battleaxe...oh so different...I'm glad you have such a range within your personality. That makes you more fun.

[Blush]

hey beth, whats a treacle?? really, that must be a british word or i am quite the dunce...

it's good that your coworkers know youre a ballbreaker :)

[Beth]

Ruby - Thank you, I've been trying to put a positive spin on it!

Blush - I'm glad to see you and I hope you're doing well! Having looked it up on Wikipedia to see if there was an American translation, there is! What we call treacle, you guys would call Molasses. I think the nickname comes about because treacle is sweet although you very often hear someone thats just been called treacle say "What, thick and slow?"

[David]

I love British humor! I totally dont get it, but I love it! I even love the words you guys use Beth! They're more colorful then the ones we use here. Which is why I was wondering if you could translate a few for me...

Treacle - Thanks for that definition. It probably doesnt work well over here, since the majority of the U.S. doesnt really use molasses anymore but rather maple syrup, but if I ever do visit cheery o' London, I am sure gonna use it on a friend!

Battleaxe - When I read it, I thought of someone with an iron foot...

Crisps - Are they like chips...American chips, that is...?

Gobshite - ???

Bumboo - I actually heard it on a television show and have been curious to know exactly what it means...

[Beth]

David - I can tell you what most of those things mean, but Bumboo? Never heard it. Maybe its a regional thing that hasn't made it down south!

Battleaxe - A sharp-tongued domineering woman (although wife is the dictionary definition). Kind of a ball-breaker. Definitely not a compliment!

Crisps - Okay, what we call Crisps you call Potato Chips. What we call Chips, you call French Fries except chips are thicker.

Gobshite - This one is basically a name for someone who talks bullshit. "Gob" - slang for mouth & "Shite" - slang for shit, but somehow it seems that by putting the "e" on the end its less offensive.