An Open Letter to a Man Who Doesn't Appreciate What He Has

Dear You,

We've kept in touch off and on since we dated a couple of years ago.  I'm no fool, I know what you want. 
Every few weeks if you haven't heard from me you text, calling me honey or baby and asking how I am.  You use that as a thinly veiled excuse to ask if I'm single.  I am.  I think I will be for a while.  I'm not ready to be involved after what happened the last time.  My blind faith has eyestrain and needs a rest. 

You suggest we meet up.  You never really think about how far away you live and how although I can do that journey in a couple of hours, I don't really want to go that far and back on a work night.  Stay over, you suggest, but its too far to commute into the office in the morning.  You've never come up here to see me.  even when we dated you never bothered.  It was always about convenience for you and thats why you're still in touch.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked a while ago.  I'm paraphrasing but your answer came along the lines of, "Yes, but she's not as dirty as you are."  Dirty being the label for a woman who isn't afraid of her sexuality.  Since then, you've shamelessly been trying to get me to come and see you.

I caved in November and we had lunch.  All of an hour before you had to go back to work.  You hadn't changed much.  Still the same.  Over-confident.  Thinking you'd got me all figured out.  Cocky enough to ask "Where's my kiss?" and I kissed you.  But I didn't feel anything.  No warmth, nor any desire to continue down that path.

During lunch you avoided the topic of your girlfriend when I asked.  I was only doing it to make you feel uncomfortable.  I think it worked.  You said that we were "mates" and we didn't have to sleep together.  A few days later you text me again, asking to see me for "some fun."  I reminded you that you've got a girlfriend for that.  You come back with a reply that you're almost single, not understanding that being single is like being pregnant; either you are, or you're not.

You didn't realise that two years have changed me.  Before I was a victim (I use that word in the loosest possible sense) of the game.  Now, if needs be, I can be a player.  You think that I don't realise that you're spinning lines.  I know you don't realise that I've been subject to more skilled players than you, both on the receiving end and watching from the sidelines. 

Just before christmas you sent another text, asking to see me before christmas.  Then between christmas and new year you told me you were going to be away for new year but that you'd see me when you got back. 

A few weeks go by and your new year pictures are on facebook.  For a man who is almost single, you looked remarkably happy and cosy with your girlfriend.

This past week, you text me again to tell me I've been quiet.  I replied that I've been busy at work and mentioned how cosy your new year pictures looked.  You're so brazen that you replied "Yeah, it was a good time.  When can you fit me in?"

I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship.  Maybe everything is on the rocks, but I can't see that for a minute from the couple of hundred cosy pictures of you two together.  I feel for her.  She probably has no idea.  By the same token, I feel for you for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, because you're too stupid to see when you're risking a good thing.  Secondly, because I'll toy with you like a kitten with a ball of wool as long as you allow me to.

I'm not vengeful by any stretch.  But you see, I'm better than being your whore.  If you're not smart enough to work that out and to perhaps assign a little more worth to people, you'll get everything you deserve.

I should clarify, I don't wish you any ill will.  I just wish that you'd realise how lucky you are to have someone and how stupid that you are that you'd jeopardise that for the sake of a lay. 

Lots of Love

Beth

Comments

[peach]

hey, cool letter dude... but he doesn't even deserve that... X

[Beth]

Thanks Peach, youre absolutely right. He doesn't even deserve an open letter, but from my end its nice to get things written down! It means that in a couple of months I'll be able to go back and review. Its a lazy way of tracking my growth as a human being. Or something x

[peach]

ps have tagged you!

[KennethSF]

I agree with you--"almost single" is a ridiculous notion, just like "a little bit pregnant" or "a wee bit dead." He doesn't realize what he has now; nor did he realize what he had when he was with you.

Some men have what I call the Moby Dick syndrome. Like the self-destructive Captain Ahab from the novel, they're forever chasing after something beyond reach.

[Kenzie]

Oh my, wtf is wrong with this guy? Almost single? Wow. Way to keep your stand. Most girls wouldn't be able to be so strong.

[Ing]

Beautifully written, wonderfully restrained!

[Nazli]

Good for you Beth - this guy who cheats on his girlfriend and treats you with no respect is not worth an further analysis.

Peace and goodness
Nazli

[Bob]

Self respect and empowerment run together like two strong muscular horses thundering past flocks of mewling sheep. Go girl!

[Beth]

Just a small update for anyone who comes back to read the comments here. I got another text. He's going to the caribbean and wants to show me his white bits when he gets back. Lucky me eh?

Kenneth - I totally agree. I don't suppose he'll learn his lesson until its too late and he's lost it all.

Kenzie - It wasn't that hard to stand my ground. I had such a hard time when I was dating him that its pretty fun to be on the other side of the table!

Ing - Thank you, its not like me to be so retrained is it? :)

Nazli - Good to see you commenting! I hope you're well!

Bob - Why thank you!

[appletini]

Wow! What an a@#hole! There are so many boys out there, hiding in side of a man's body...Good for you for not giving in.
I feel so sorry for his "almost single" girlfriend

[clarissa]

I love this post. I could have used it a few years ago myself. Sounds a fuckwit.