If you want to be psychotic, thats totally fine but..

...don't drag me into it.

I've had one of those weeks this week.  The kind of week where I learn things about myself that I'd never been really aware of before.I've now fully established my position on trust.  They say that trust has to be earned but I don't work like that.  I seem to make an instant judgement.  Either I trust you from the off, or I don't and I never will.

Thats not to say that I don't mak bad calls.  There are times where people do things that mean they drop down on the trustability scale and it always upsets me a little bit.  I'm always slightly saddened by makng a bad call and by feeling that I'd been let down.

Naturally I realise that this is my own doing.  I am the creator of these situations and therefore shouldn't really complain.  Still, this is my blog and I'll whinge if I want to, whinge if I want to.  You'd winge too if it happened to you.  Okay, maybe you wouldn't but the Lesley Gore reference was too easy to pass up.

So, here's the story.  One of the stories of fucked-upness that I've been subject to this week.

I have a work colleague on my facebook.  Not someone from my office, a client.  Nice guy,  seemed relatively stable.  Smart enough, bit flirty, but taken.  Stable girlfriend etc.  Nothing between us other than a bit of banter.

We'd had the odd conversation on Facebook and last sunday, he's online and I say hi.  I ask how his weekend was and he said it had been a bit up and down, he'd had some girlfrind issues.  The conversation sort of flows around that.  He'd done something stupid that wasn't cheating and she'd found out.  Her ex had always flirted with other girls and he promised he'd never do that and he did and now he didn't know what he was going to do without her.  He didn't want to be on this planet without her...and other various overly-dramatic statements.

I didn't think much of it, although its always slightly worrying when you're talking to someone who's saying such things so I just gave the best advice I could and tried to suggest avoiding as many cliches as possible.  At the end of the conversation, he asked if she could read what we'd written.  I said I didn't mind, but not to force her to read it because its not necessarily going to be what she wants to see, innocent or not.  It seemed slightly weird, but whatever.

And that was pretty much that.  It did leave me wondering whether I'm just astonishingly laid back about these sort of things, or whether I've just become accustomed to involvements with men who flirt.  Generally, it doesnt bother me.  Its what men do.  Its biological, they can't help it.  Other than that though, I didnt give it much thought.  He was out of the office the monday and so I didn't speak to him.

So here's where things get fucked up.

Tuesday, he calls in at work to speak to me.  He actually asked to hold while I finished up another call.  When he got put through, the first thing he did was apologise for the previous conversation.

Not uncommon.  People often apologise for outbursts of emotion - I've done it myself.  Except thats not what he was apologising for.

"That wasn't me. It was my girlfriend..."

Insert stunned silence here. 

"..so yeah, if you ever see me on Facebook its not me.  Its her."

How did you find out that she'd done it?

"Oh I was there...I told her not to, but she did it anyway."

Right.  I see.  Well, thats safely one of the most psychotic things I've been party to in ages.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.  I just wanted to apologise."

Yeah...apologise.  Right.  The entire conversation, not him.  My valuable advice - a pointless waste of time.  Not a real conversation.  I bet you can guess how annoyed I am can't you?  I bet you can guess how much I like being used as a pawn in other peoples fucked up little games?

Thats right boys and girls; I don't fucking like it one little bit.

I realise I'm perhaps dwelling heavily on something insignificant, but frankly who the fuck is she to use me to test her boyfriend?  Sorry darling, but if you don't trust him take it up with him, don't drag other people into it.

I don't have the energy to go into the other things that have pissed me off this week - mostly because the sum is greater than their parts and has totally drained me.  Hopefully next week will be better.

Comments

[Travis Erwin]

If they invite you to their wedding ... don't go.

[Beth]

Travis - Thanks for the tip...somehow I don't think I'd be invited anyway!

[Mia]

What nasty pieces of work some people can be.

[Leah Vanessa]

What crazies! You should divorce him on facebook. I hate when people try to drag me into their twisted relationships.

[Cri]

i've had this happen to me twice! it made me stop using my messenger to talk to anyone that wasnt in my closest circle.

[Beth]

Mia - Welcome!...and tell me about it. There's so much crazy for such a tiny planet.

Leah - I plan to...you have to wait a little while so it isn't obvious but the deletion is pending!

Cri - Thats a smart plan. one that I shall steal and use as my own!

[Roses]

Huh?

So basically, she runs his FB account and pretends to be him, while he's looking over her shoulder.

Ummm....

If I were you, I'd chalk it up to experience and then delete his ass from your FB list sooner rather than later. I wouldn't worry too much about appearing rude, deleting a friend happens in a fairly painless manner, I'd be surprised if they even get notified.

Never fails to amaze me the games people play. I don't think this situation says anything about your judgement or your ability to trust. Don't use this situation to beat yourself up.

If you need to beat yourself up about something - you absolutely MUST try OPI nail polishes. They are OMG gorgeous. Expensive, but truly, truly fabulous. There are loads of colours with, or without of sparkley bits. One colour you should absolutely look at is called Midnight in Moscow. It looks black, but when you look closely in light, it's actually a dark, dark red, with red sparkely bits.

The good thing about OPI polishes, they dry quickly and hard. If you don't dig in the garden, you can pretty much get 5 days flawless wear.

Enjoy!

[ruby]

W...T...H...

[Beth]

Roses - I've got the deletion scheduled for this weekend. Sadly, I have bigger, more boring fish stressing me out at the moment and so i'm saving the fun for the weekend. Thank you for the tip on OPI, i've got a couple in my collection but I must admit that I've actually become a lazy person and I have gels done on both fingers and toes so I don't have to worry about painting them...because its such a chore. Not.

Ruby - I know. I know. It took me a week to get my head around it enough to write the post. Madness.

[Ing]

That is... Totally fucked up!

[Deb]

Bad stuff for sure!

[Clare]

That is so fucked up!! You should totally delete him off your Facebook for that.

[KennethSF]

Oh Dear! She must be one paranoid woman to try this method. If you were wicked, you could get back at her (or at them both) by flirting up a storm with her when she's online impersonating him.

[Beth]

Ing - I know. I think people have far too much headcasery about them!

Deb - It really is. Just awful - the things people do to feel better!

Clare - He's gone. Done, dusted, buh-bye!

Kenneth - I am wicked, but in a different way and I don't want to have any more to do with the craziness!

[Jonas]

it comes down to three things really

1. people are awkward in every way

2. most women assume men are cheating to begin with. (or that they will eventually)

3. everyone is insecure in some way

you're an awesome writer, even if it was just rambling.