A trois...

One evening last week, one of my colleagues gave me a ride home. 

This guy and I, we get along pretty well.  We chat about all manner of things and as I'm not a particuarly secretive person and neither is he, the topics of conversation seem to go far and wide.

That evening though, they went further and wider than I'd expected.

We were chatting outside my house about all sorts of things and we ended up talking about sex...just in a general round about sort of way.

He told me he once had a fuck-budy who looked just like me, which is a little unusual.  Not that he had a fuck-buddy, or that she looked like me, but that he *told* me.  There's a compliment in there somewhere, in spite of the slightly unusual delivery.

He then told me that he and his other half are giving serious thought to having a threesome.

You know how sometimes you feel like you're being sized up for something?  Like someone is telling you something to test the water and see your reaction?   I felt like that.

Maybe I'm flattering myself and it was just chit chat.  Maybe its just that we'd reached the point in our relationship that he felt comfortable enough to mention it. 

I'm not entirely sure, I just know that I got out of that car feeling decidedly like I'd been tested.

As a concept, I'm not adverse to the idea.  I think it could be fun.  But thats as a concept and not with a long-standing couple.  I think it would need to be a casual thing, otherwise there's feelings and all that crap to contend with.  The jealousy.  The feeling left out.  The "you like her better than me" etc.

It'd just be too messy.

Does anyone have any input on this one?  Even if you want to tell me that I'm being egomaniacal and that he was probably just chatting.  I'm always curious to see how far off the mark I was, or whether you all read it the same way?

Comments

[KennethSF]

I don't think it's far-fetched to conclude you've just been propositioned. But that's a territory beyond my wisdom, so I wouldn't presume to understand the emotional risk involved.

[sid]

Oh he was so trying to see if you'd be up for it. If your reaction was more than luke warm he'd definitely be asking you if you'd want to join em.

[peach]

He was DEFINITELY sizing you up - and I would say go for it if you find him attractive - and don't worry about any messy fall out - you're not in the relationship!

[Clarissa]

Agree with Peach. 100%

[Ing]

Most hetrosexual blokes would rate a threesome, especially with two women, near the top of thier list of fantasies. I'd agree with the others that he was certainly floating it out there to test your reaction. You'll probably find out in subsequant days/weeks quite how serious a proposal it might have been.

[Mia]

Sounds like fun chick! You only live once and all that.

[Monozygote]

I have some input for you. This same thing happened to me when I was about 25. I felt just the same as you describe. But anyway, it put the idea in my head. So I thought I would try it out. It was meant to be a one-time thing, but it lasted eight years. This is what my blog is about. I would advise you very strongly to not go near this type of set-up with a barge-pole. Not so much because of my own experience, but because of the way you describe yours. That's my two penn'orth.

ps It isn't flattering. I know it may feel like it, but it really really isn't. You deserve better than being someone else's entertainment.

[Beth]

Kenneth - It was an interesting conversation, but emotional or otherwise I don't think its a risk I want to take!

Sid - I think my reaction was probably just barely lukewarm so no further mention of it since. I do find the whole thing interesting, but more from a psychological standpoint i.e. what makes them want to do it?

Peach - He's not a bad looking guy and from what I recall his girlfriend is pretty hot. There wasn't an offer on the table though and I think even if there was I abide by the rule "never put your meat where you get your bread", especially in a job you like.

Clarissa - I can't believe how lazy of a reply to a comment this is, but "see above" :o)

Ing - I don't think it was all that serious as it hasn't come up since!

Mia - True indeed, but I don't think I'm in the market for that sort of fun at the moment! Hope you're feeling a bit better now by the way, I know you were a bit down last week x

Monozygote - I'm flattered to be found attractive enough to be propositioned, but thats fat girl mentalilty that never goes away. I don't think it'd be something I'd go through with and I appreciate your advice from first hand experience. I actually can't read your blog as I haven't been invited, but I'd like to if you're happy to give me access?

[Courtney]

Late to the table, but yeah, you were being sized. From personal experience, you are 100% right about the "it just happened" factor. With an established couple, I would run for the hills- waaaaaay too messy.

[Beth]

Courtney - I'm already halfway to the hills, its definitey not something I want to be doing!

[Monozygote]

yeh, you just need to email dandelion7993 [at] aol dot come

[Peter]

Yeah, definitely sounds like he was sizing you up.