Sometimes, as most bloggers probably do, I like to have a look and see how people have found my site.
A lot of the time its either people who have my bookmarked, or find me through another blog I read but occasionally they find me through a search engine.
Yesterday, someone found my blog after typing in "How to fix a bad mother-daughter relationship".
I don't know if that person found any useful information in my posts. But, if you are that person and you happened to have come back I'll give you my honest opinion.
If it's recently gone bad, you might be able to fix it. If it's always been bad, you have to find a way to reconcile it in your head and come to terms with the fact that you're probably never going to have that "my mother is my best friend" thing happening. Another helpful tool is to look at your mother's relationship with her mother. If it was bad, there's a pattern here and on some level you have to consciously break that cycle - for your own sake.
It took me a lot of counselling and soul searching before I realised that I was tying myself in knots to please my mother and it was totally pointless. It never worked. It was never enough and I got tired of feeling like I was never enough.
Its been a few years now since I was in therapy working through it all, but I can honestly say that now, other than the odd frustration at things that go on in my house I'm totally at ease with the fact that we're not that family.
I aspire to more for my children. I want to be a good mother for them if/when I have them. I don't want to make them feel like I felt for way too much of my life.
Thats just my two cents worth, if you've come back that is. If you're reading and you're not that searcher, then you've just had another bit of insight into my inner workings!
