Do you have Christmas in France? CHRIIIISTMAAAAS?

I don't get to see much of my extended family.  I live with my parents but their siblings all live quite a way away.  In the case of most of my mother's family I'm pleased about it as the crazy/evil/bitter might be catching and I don't need any of that.

In the case of my dad's family though, I wish I saw them more often.  They're all lovely people that you can talk to and have a laugh with and on the occasions we do get together its always fun to catch up.

Recently one of my uncles was over from Norway.  He lives out there with his wife, who's Norwegian herself.  She's a real sweetie, not to mention extremely intelligent and, as is the case with most people "on the continent", she speaks very good english.  They were over as he had some work business to attend to and so I guess they were trying to make a little holiday of it.  Part of that was to spend a bit of time with us one evening.

I'll spare you the story about my dad and I busting our arses to clean the house while mother did nothing more than expand hers.  The house was clean by the time they got here and I'd managed to have one little dig at my mother's laziness in the process (good times!).

After a quick coffee at our house, its decided that we'll go out to eat and we settle on a curry.  I was in full swing of my diet at that point and I'm sure chicken korma did me no favours, but who cares.

It panned out that in the restaurant, the three of us ladies were on one side of the table and the gents were on the other side.  Unfortunately for her, my uncles wife was between my mother and I and that meant no escape.

My old mother isn't all that great in social situations.  She seems to think she is, but she tends to come across as patronising, overbearing, condescending. Just plain irritating and during the meal - in fact during the whole evening - conversations such as the following one took place:

My mother (in raised voice to my aunt, who is happily enjoying her meal): IS THAT NICE?

My aunt: Yes, its lovely.  Really spicy.  We had a curry in London recently, but it wasn't as spicy as this one.

My Mother: DO YOU HAVE CURRY IN NORWAY?

My aunt (hiding her confusion): Yes, we do...

I was dumbstruck. In situations similar to this one that I've witnessed with other people I've been able to say something like "Yes, Adam knows what a trade union is.  He's 33." but this time I just couldn't find the words.  The total embarassment had eaten them up.  Probably with a smattering of mint raita on the side.

This woman, this extremely intelligent woman, who speaks english fluently even down to the use of colloquialisms, is being spoken to in the manner sterotypically adopted by an English person speaking to a foreigner.  That good old english notion that if you're abroad and don't speak the language, just shout in english and they'll understand.

Except that it wasn't necessary; she did understand.  She's Norwegian, not martian.  They have pretty much the same stuff in Norway they have here.  We've been there, we saw.

I doubt they'll be rushing back to visit again soon...

Comments

[HereInFranklin]

I'm cracking up here because one of our favorite family stories involves my FIL speaking LOUDLY, VERY LOUDLY, to a guard at the Japanese emperor's palace...asking where the nearest pay phone is. Husband came upon him and quickly remedied situation.

[Beth]

HIF - Its funny isn't it? There's no logic to the idea that if you speak louder the other person will understand, yet people still do it!

[ellie]

Every Thanksgiving since we've lived in England we have had a big international crowd over for a bastardised version of our favourite holiday. It is friggin' fantastic -- more fun than at home. We've had Czech, Italian, French, Norwegian, Swedish, English, Malay, Chinese, Korean, Irish, Hungarian, Pakistani. Put 'em in a bag, mix 'em up, and a have a party with a Turkey. Woohoo!

This year, my father is coming to visit. I don't plan to invite any friends. I'm just too embarrassed.

[Beth]

Ellie - That sounds like a great way to celebrate, I'm sorry you'll have to adjust it a bit for this year! Maybe you could have a second celebration when his visit is over?

[ellie]

Good idea!

[David]

"She's Norwegian, not martian." That line made me laugh out loud! Too funny!

When it comes to foreigners, my mother doesn't raise her voice when speaking with them. Instead she talks back to them, using the same accent and broken English they use. She says, she's not making fun of them, but rather, helping them feel comfortable with speaking, but to me? It's still embarrassing...

[Beth]

Ellie - I'm full of them. Or full of something anyway! ;O)

David - Its got to be a generational trait. I know a lot of people who have said that their parents do this kind of thing so I figure it must be an age related!

[Su]

Haha brilliant! I had a friend from NZ during my school days and she was asked all sorts of stupid things like "do they have traffic lights in New Zealand?"

[Beth]

Su - Its embarassing isn't it?