Fifteen out of Ten

I'm not much of a one for exercise.

By that, I mean that I don't do any.  I walk to work, but thats the sum total of it. 

The thing I never seem to learn is that by doing nothing all to take care of my aging muscles, I'm actually doing myself more harm than good.

Case in point: My hamstrings and calf muscles.  They hurt.  All. The. Time.  A lack of stretching combined with daily wear of 4 inch heels around the office have equalled short, tight muscles. Its been going on for some time and I tried my best to ignore it.  I dabbled with a few stretching exercises that I'd do for a couple of days and then stop.  Big mistake.  Huge, in fact.

Recently,it got so bad that I had no choice but to seek professional help and on the recommendation of a colleague, went to see his sports masseuse.

When you hear the word "massage" you think to yourself "ahhhh, lovely, relaxing massage."

If you put the word "sports" in front of "massage" you find yourself presented with an entirely different response.  Along the lines of "FUCK!  OW!  STOP IT!"

I can't explain to you how painful it is to have tight calf muscles massaged.  It's truly one of the most horrific physical experiences I've had. The masseuse herself is lovely and by all accounts very good at what she does.  If by very good at what she does, people mean "adequately skilled to introduce you to intense muscular pain".

There are two acts of evil that are part of the treatment that I feel compelled to mention.  The first is known as the lock and key and involves the masseuse bending your leg so your foot is up in the air and then jamming her knuckles into the bottom of your hamstrings, just above the knee.  In a flexible person the foot should then drop down, indicating that the muscles and tendons are loose.  In an inflexible person (i.e. me) it hurts immensely.  The kind of pain that pushes you to hysterical laughter because you can't even cry, it hurts so much.

The second act of evil is when the masseuse rubs over your calf muscles, finds a knot and then presses on it.  She asks you how bad the pain is on a scale of one to ten and holds it there, letting the pain radiate through you until it eventually subsides.  The science behind it is that the pressure starves the knot of blood, then when the pressure is released blood rushes through and clears some of the toxins.

I've also been given a few stretches to do in conjunction with the massage.  One I like, the other two (which are painful) not so much.

So whats the point of this rambling post, you ask?  Its a bit of a public service announcement really.

People, please....stretch.  Daily.  I urge you.  You don't want to have to have a sports massage.  You really, really don't.

Comments

[Deb]

I'm into Non-Movement too. Maybe we should start a Non-Movement Movement.

[Daniel Hoffmann-Gill]

"combined with daily wear of 4 inch heels"

*insert wolf whistle here*

Apolgies for sexism, normal service will be resumed soon.

[ellie]

I've lately been suffering from pain in the bottom of my heal. Plantar Fascilitis, the internet says. Caused by the opposite of 4 inch heels: flats or going barefoot (I'm guilty). Should we swap shoes? Maybe I'd get some wolf whistles then too?! x

[Lisa]

I'm not alone! I will do it, yes I must stretch!

[Beth]

Deb - Sounds like a plain. Although starting the movement may require some movement on our parts, so maybe we could just imagine starting the non-movement movement? :o)xx

DHG - Wolf whistles are always welcome, thank you! xx

Ellie - I can definitely recommend you a gorgeous pair of heels - New Look, £20, black with little bows on the toes. Just lovely. I'll take you a picture and post it so you can see. I don't know if I could do flats. I've tried and I think that's what has made me notice the calf pain! I hope the pain subsides quickly for you, its not nice - especially if you're a commuter who walks to/from places! xx

Lisa - Sadly, its easier said than done, but good luck with your routine! I managed my calf stretches today (stand on a step with all your weight on one foot and let your heel drop down) and my hamstring one. I even did a few half-arsed shoulder stretches. Hardly a comprehensive selection, but better than nothing I suppose! xx

[Daniel Hoffmann-Gill]

Without sounding like a shoe fetish pervert, any pictures of shoes put onto here would be much appreciated indeed.

Thanks.

x

[Katherine]

I have it on good authority that sports massage is rather horrific :S
What a bugger you had to experience it!
I hope every thing gets better, soon!

[Beth]

DHG - I don't quite know whether "shoe fetish pervert" would be the term I'd use...but whatever floats your boat! :) x

Katherine - Hello there, thank you for stopping by! Horrific is a good way of describing it. I've been a bit lax with the stretching (and blogging, and youtube, and everything else in my life if I'm honest) this past week, but I'll stick with it. Fingers crossed it'll sort itself out. x

[Adam]

Hey Beth,

I was looking at backlinks for comparethemeerkat, but read your post and thought I should comment.

I actually work for a sports and outdoors retailer. We're doing a 'shoes for reviews' promotion. Would you like some walking shoes to review?

No joke. Throw me an email and I'll fill you in on the details

Adam (also a Smith)