...Think, Think, Think...

To Do Today... / Christmas Decoration Trauma

Full list of actions to be taken to secure my status as Domestic Goddess/functioning member of society (for today at least).  In no particular order:

• Review of Poles Apart and lovely meeting with fellow bloggers
• Tidy House
• Bake - mint chocolate shortbread and homemeade mince pies
• Put up Christmas decorations
• Write Christmas cards
• Make shopping list for presents I still need to buy
• Assignment x 2 for courses I have ignored for almost 8 months
• Small amount of form filling for work, even though I'm meant to be on holiday

So far I have done none of these things.

I went out and bought a Christmas tree, lights and decorations.  The first lot of fairy lights did not work.  I find this out after I've wound all 100 of them around the tree.

I take these back for replacements.  I get home, feeling all clever in thinking I'll plug them in while I'm putting them on the tree so I know that they work. 

They do work.  For about 10 minutes.  Then... nothing.  Not even one little fairy light.  Unplug, replug, check for loose bulbs.  Darkness.

I can't put any more decorations onto the tree until I know whats happening with the lights.  Problem is I've now reached "christmas decoration apathy" and it can all just sod off. 

I realise this is probably my own fault.  These are Poundstretcher lights and you know what they say - buy cheap, buy often. But, I have another set of 50 from there that works fine, I just can't seem to make 50 go around the whole tree.

I will get to all the other stuff, but I now just can't be arsed.  Christmas is just so draining.

How to look good...dressed

I have the opposite problem to the women on How To Look Good Naked.  I'd probably be Gok's worst nightmare.

I don't hate my body.  I'm not mortified at my own reflection or terrified by the sight of my own naked flesh.  The chances of me insisting that a partner turn the lights out before I strip off is practically zero.

Naked I'm fine with.  Lingerie?  Love it. Clothed though?  I'm not so good.

I went out this afternoon to have a look for some new work clothes.  I'm starting to feel that everything I have in my work wardrobe makes me look frumpy and much older than I really am.  What I'd like is to look stylish and pulled together when I'm at the office, not like I got dressed in the dark from a wardrobe belonging to a 50 year old RE Teacher.

I wandered around a few shops and found some lovely things.  None of them fit.  I found this little lovely, but they didn't have my size.  The size below was too tight and I'm sure the next size up would have just hung off me.  I may order my size off the website and see if its any better. 

I loathe shopping for clothes for this reason.  Either they don't have my size, or the sizing systems are so inconsistent that I end up hacked off by the faff of guessing if things will come up too big/too small and just give up.  I'm pleased to say that I don't usually come away from these ordeals feeling fat.  Generally I blame the shops for being incapable of picking a sizing system and everyone using the same one.  Today though, I do feel a bit rubbish.  Frumpy really.

People often ask me why my obsession lies with makeup and beauty.  Simple answer:  it ALWAYS fits.  Once you know your foundation shade, everything else is a breeze.    I don't ever try 5 different shades of lipstick to find that none of them are right and then leave 20 minutes later hot and flustered from being trapped in a cramped changing room.  Its not that kind of party. 

After putting myself through the ringer I gave up with the clothes shopping and made my way empty handed to Superdrug where I bought new shampoo, conditioner, a couple of styling products and a new mascara as a reward for not having a massive hissy fit about it all.

I was actually starting to feel a bit brighter until I went into McDonalds.  I ordered (large quarter pounder with cheese meal, with a chocolate milkshake) and the cashier went to put everything together.  While he's doing that, another guy comes over, looks at the till from which I've just been served and says, with eyebrows raised "large meal...". 

I understand its best not to be rude to people in the food service industry (for reasons best explained by the movie Waiting), so I just replied, "Yep".  In reality, I could have quite happily thrown my chocolate milkshake in his face, the twat.  I took my food and scurried home, seething more about that than about the lack of clothes-purchasing that I managed to do.

So, other than getting an extra hour in bed this morning today has not been one of my funnest days ever.  Not to worry though, I'm about to go and finish my milkshake and do my hair.  Naked probably. I think I look better that way.

Non-Specific Post, Rant, Aims & Playlist

I'm having one of those days today.  You know the ones where you question whether its even worth you being where you are?

I feel like that at work today.  Things are bothering me and I've had a brief temper tantrum which led me to go and stand outside for a moment just to cool off (takes a lot to push me to this, but its what I do rather than find the person who caused the problem and beat them).  I've now hit the point of apathy.  Where you realise some brick walls aren't the right ones to bash your head against.  No one really wants a bashed in head, after all (although some people really are asking for it at times!).

Right now, I'm supposed to be at lunch.  I'm not hungry.  I didn't feel like walking out to get food.  I'm sitting with my ipod on, blocking out the buzz of office noise with assorted rock.  My playlist is at the bottom of the post, just in case anyone is curious as to what I use to calm down.  As music goes, its not that calm.  I will have to eat at some point this afternoon.  I've got crisps, half a box of Mint Poppets (I think these are like Junior Mints for anyone the other side of the pond) and there's definitely a Strawberry Cornetto in the freezer because I bought it on Tuesday and didn't eat it then.  Its not Ice Cream weather but who cares.

I've managed to achieve one thing on my list below which was to get Google Reader up and running.  How did I not do this sooner?  Its genius.  I can't quite explain the joy of not having to have 30 tabs open in Firefox just to check and see if someone has updated.  It means I can actually check my regular blogs more regularly than once a week because it allows me to be lazy and do what I need to do at the same time.  I'm very impressed.  Perhaps I ought to try and do more things on the list, perhaps they'll impress me too!

I've been in search of my first "For Dummies" book and couldn't find what I wanted.  I really want "Scientology for Dummies".  I try not to make wild stabbing judgements on religious ideas until I've read something about.  It seems that they aren't really up for the whole "For Dummies" thing.  Instead, I gave in and bought Dianetics off of ebay.  It'll probably just sit on the bookshelf with all of the other crap I buy because I love books but don't read.

I've got some ideas for posts in my head, so I'm planning on increasing my post frequency somewhat.  While looking hungrily at the Smitten Kitchen blog, I realised that I have quite a lot of food-linked memories.  I suppose most of us do, its the whole sense thing.  I can think of at least three different stories at the moment, although there's a possibility I'll only post two of them because perhaps the third is a little disgusting to share.  Athough maybe the disgusting stories make the best reading.  We'll see...

Playlist, in the order the ipod spewed it out:

Whiplash - Metallica
Cats in the Cradle- Ugly Kid Joe
Buddy Holly - Weezer
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
Breathe - Nickelback
Glory Box - Portishead
Redneck Woman - Gretchen Wilson
Get Inside - Stone Sour
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Duality - Slipknot (given my mood today, I fully understand the notion that pushing ones fingers into ones eyes is a great source of relief from assorted bullshit)
Keep Hope Alive - The Crystal Method
Shout - Disturbed
The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails
Through Glass - Stone Sour
Stacked Actors - Foo Fighters
Good to Go - John Corbett

Some holiday that was...

This past week i've been off work.  Its been my first break since May of this year and here's a rundown of what happened.

Monday
I cleaned the bathroom and upstairs landing.  It really needed doing.  I'd tried waiting for my mother to do it.  She didn't.  Then I wondered if the fairies might.  Nope.  Did it myself.  After that I decided I was going to bake.  I made a whiskey fruitcake and the fruit sank to the bottom.  I shan't make fruit cake again.

Monday Night, 10:30pm or thereabouts
My throat started to feel a bit sore.  I spent a few minutes with my mouth open staring in the bathroom mirror to see if my tonsils were enlarged or anything.  I wasn't sure either way as I don't know what tonsils look like in a normal state.

Tuesday
I decide to go shopping in London.  Throat is still bad, made worse by my anger at the tube strike, which I didn't think would be that bad.  It was and I totally disagree with the notion of striking but thats another rant for another day.  I found that you aren't meant to chew Nurofen Meltlets, you're meant to let them melt.  I bought make up, cleanser, underwear, not that any of it was really necessary. I was kindly given a lift back from London by a married colleague who everyone thinks I'm screwing that I'm not.  Apparently, this is the price you pay for being a pretty girl who makes friends with the boys - you're the subject of lots of gossip.  Okay, I'll be honest. I've played up to it a bit. So has he, although he actually flirts with everyone.  Sometimes though, its just so easy.  Trust me, if you have a slightly squeamish colleague teasing you about this sort of thing, ask them if their desk is sticky.  If it plays out for you like it did for me, you'll seldom see an office worker move so damn fast!

Wednesday
Sore throat has now transformed into a temperature, headache, general aches and a cold.  I don't get out of bed today.

Thursday
See Wednesday. 

Friday
I made it out of bed.  I went into town.  I bought some Lip and Cheek Stain from The Body Shop.  I watched Annie Hall - twice, once this morning and once this afternoon.  I've become obsessed with learning to bake.  I found out that white chocolate brownies are called blondies.  Makes sense.

Isn't that an exciting way to spend a week off?  5 whole days of precious holiday allowance wasted.  I'd actually rather have been at work ill than at home ill.  I'd rather get paid for it than waste holiday.  Fortunately, I've still got a week in October and a week in November to make up for the lack of lunches, museum/gallery vists and shopping trips.

All I have now is the weekend.  In that time I have more cleaning to do, baking to do and somehow I have to have some sort of fun.  Any suggestions would be welcome...